Saturday, February 2, 2013

Day 33 - Repetition

It has dawned on me lately why we must repeatedly go through the same challenges. It's by repetition, by facing the same challenges again and again, that God slowly, mercifully transforms our hearts & pulls us closer to Jesus. 

When I was a mother of a 2 year old the first time, it was hard, and we survived, but it was confusing and I felt helpless, trying every piece of parenting advice, every expert book to navigate through this age. I cried a lot. I shouted too much. My heart wept and lifted itself to God a whole whole lot.

. When I was the mother of a 2 year old the second time, I was much more tender, but still lacking in some grace. I was frustrated, irritated, but I had been there, done that, tried not to take it personally. 

Now I am a mother of a 2 year old for the third time, I look at that little guy in the corner, flailing angry fists refusing to have 'time out' and my heart is a little warmed with compassion, because I have learn to empathize. 

I know how hard it is. How confusing it is. How challenging the battle against self is. The fight against flesh and desire. To control those raging emotions that somehow, you can't quite form the right words to communicate. 

I am a better mother than I was 7 years ago. I know this is true. I can see how much I have grown in Christ in these 7 years as a mother. I am 99% away from being anywhere near perfect... I have touched a mere drop in an ocean.

I praise God that I He keeps blessing me with Children so that I reface the same challenges, and learn to love deeper, more abundantly and with more grace & peace that comes from my sweet Jesus.

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